Thursday, 19 November 2015

Vaso-Vagal Syncope: Flaking Out is What They Do

POST #106
ORIGINAL SONG "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do", Neil Sedaka - recorded in 2 versions , 1962 (classic doo-wap version), and 1975 (slow-ballad version).
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, November 2015.

KEYWORDS: goldenoldy,  medical 

1962 release

Health-care professionals who have to inject patients know that the fittest looking specimens, often muscular young men, are the most likely to faint with an injection, particularly if they stare at the needle. This phenomenon is well-known in Nuclear Medicine departments, where an intravenous injection is required before most scans. The injections are not technically challenging, as these out-patients have easy veins to access, but the somewhat unexpected result may disrupt the day’s schedule. 

Sinus brady” is jargon for sinus bradycardia, a slow but regular and innocuous pattern on the electrocardiogram (ECG). CPR is an acronym for cardio-pulmonary resuscitation. Atropine, an injectable medicine to increase heart-rate may be used as part of resuscitation procedures. Syncope (pron. sin'-copy) means a faint. Vaso-vagal, a difficult but commonly-used term, refers to vascular effects (low blood pressure etc.) mediated by the vagus nerve.


(to the tune of "Breaking up is Hard To Do"

1. Slow ballad version (1975)

Down here in Nuclear Medicine, we have one big complaint
So, here's a little song about "The Faint" .....

"We need inject before we scan
And you have got such very big veins, man
Tell me please before I poke,
“You’ve never been a fainting bloke?”

(Sick patients - we get sent a lot
To assess heart disease and bad lung clots
But stretcher-bound in-patients ain’t
The folks who do injection-faints.)

A prior episode they seldom confirm -
Needles make them squeamishly squirm
 Seemed fit and hardy before,
 But soon as we inject we find them white as sheets slumped on the floor.

If I had known the outcome - that,
I would have lain him down and poked him flat
Guys hush up 'cause they prefer
Cross fingers that it won't recur.

Pulse and heart-rate typically low
Specific feature that you should know
Sinus brady – ECG;
It’s vaso-vagal syncope
It's vaso-vagal syncope.

2. Classic Rock version (1962)

  I beg the staff, don’t get too keen
They don’t need CPR or atropine
Leave their heads down on the floor;
Legs elevate and nothing more.

Blood pressure will come up and they’ll start to come ‘round,
Queeziness means leave left side down.
You can proceed with the test,
But if they ever show again, injecting while they’re supine’s best.
I tell my staff, don’t get too stressed
They need blood-volume transferred to their chest;
Leave their heads down on the floor
Legs elevate and nothing more.

Down doobee do down  down,  comma comma
Down doobee do down down,  comma comma
Down doobee do down down
Flaking out is what they-ey-ey do.

Performing Notes

AbM7 = 1333;  E7+5 = 1203; Am7 = 0000; D9 = 2423;
Dm7 = 2213; G7+5 = 0312; Fdim7 = 2121; Cm7 = 3333; BbM7 = 3210; Bb6 = 0211; Bbm7 =1111; Eb7 = 3334.


Down [C] there in Nuclear [Am] Medicine, we [AbM7] have one big [G7] complaint
 So, [Am] here's a [E7+5] little [Am7] song a[D9]bout "The [Dm7] Faint" [G7] .....

[G7+5] We need in[C]ject [Am7] be[Dm7]fore we [G7] scan
[C] And you have [Am7] got such very [Dm7] big veins, [G7] man
[Am] Tell me [E7+5] please be[Am7]fore I [D9] poke,
You’ve [Dm7] never been a fainting [G7] bloke?



A prior epi[Cm7]sode [F7] they [Cm7] seldom con[F7]firm -
[Bb] Needles [BbM7] make them [Bb6] squeamishly [BbM7] squirm
[Bbm7] Seemed [Eb7] fit and [Bbm7] hardy be[Eb7]fore
But [AbM7] soon as we inject we find them [G7] white as sheets slumped
on the floor.

Outro:(style of the 1962 version)
[C] Down doobee [Am] do down [F] down,  [G7] comma comma
[C] Down doobee [Am] do down [F] down,  [G7] comma comma 
[C] Down doobee [Am] do down [F] down,  
[G7] Flaking out is [C] what they-[F6]-ey-ey [C] do.

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