Monday, 28 April 2014

Seniors' Sports-Injury Song: R-I-C-E




POST #36
PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG: "YMCA" Village People, 1978.
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, April 2014.

KEYWORDS: goldenoldy, medical

You can view the lyrics and commentary (without images or chords) displayed on a parody-lyrics website at AmIRight.com Post"R-I-C-E"









RICE is a mnemonic for 4 elements used to treat soft-tissue and other injuries.



R-I-C-E            

          
Intro:  Rest - Ice - Compression - Elevation  x2

Old man with a sports injury 
I said old man with sprained neck, twisted knee 
I said thin man with sad bone-density 
And your brittle bones so snappy.

Old man on the floor of the gym
I said old man with a red swollen limb 
You can stay there, moaning woe-is-me hymn 
Or find ways to mobilize it (rest, raise, freeze, compress).

You're gonna feel good with R-I-C-E, it's fun to heal good with R-I-C-E.
You could get an MR, deal with specialists' claims, 
Short-term treatment will be the same.
  
You're gonna feel good with R-I-C-E, it's fun to heal good with R-I-C-E. 
If you've Medicare B , there'll be no fees you owe 
When you hang out at Physio.

Sometimes, there's a glitch in this scheme - 
Early X-rays aren't as smart as they seem,
Subtle fractures missed by linear beam,
And a  scan is more revealing.

Symptoms, this might all help explain,
After one week, why you're still wracked by pain,
So some bone-meds you will likely be takin', 
 'long with RICE, then ambulation  (rest, raise, freeze, compress).

You're gonna feel good with R-I-C-E, it's fun to heal good with R-I-C-E.
It's First-Aid of choice, as approved by your grand-pa, 
And it still is the modern mantra.

R-I-C-E, it's fun to heal good with R-I-C-E 
If you've Medicare B, there'll be no fees you owe 
Complete ACL tear
Surgical intervention required
When you hang out at Physio.

Rarely, when you see Dr Dodd,
(worth waiting, he's a sharp orthopod),
He'll astound you, "it's unstable - good God!"
Hip or  knee or shin needs fixing.

Post-op, Doc's rewired your limb, 
Turn up volume, and just listen to him. 
Pain is screaming, don't sign out on a whim, 
You've just got to know this one thing (rest, raise, freeze, compress). 

                                           
You're gonna feel good with R-I-C-E,
 it's fun to heal good with R-I-C-E.
You could  threaten to sue, dream of injury claims, 
Short-term treatment will be the same.

R-I-C-E, it's fun to heal good with R-I-C-E 
Old man, old man on the floor of the gym, 
Old man, old man with the red swollen limb 

Fade:
R-I-C-E, you're gonna feel good with R-I-C-E,
Old man, old man with sprained neck, twisted knee...

Performing Notes

            Cm       Eb     F7                     F
Intro:  Rest - Ice - Compression - Elevation  x2

Bb
Old man with a sports injury 
           Gm 
I said old man with sprained neck, twisted knee 
           Eb
I said thin man with sad bone-density 
                 F7        Dm          F
And your brittle bones so snappy.

Bb
Old man on the floor of the gym
          Gm
I said old man with a red swollen limb 
               Eb
You can stay there, moaning woe-is-me hymn 
             F7      Eb F   Eb Dm Cm F7 
Or find ways to mobilize it (rest, raise, freeze, compress).

                                                  Bb                                                     Gm
You're gonna feel good with R-I-C-E, it's fun to heal good with R-I-C-E.
                  Eb 
You could get an MR, deal with specialists' claims, 
                     F7                     Eb        F7
Short-term treatment will be the same.
                                                   Bb                                                      Gm 
You're gonna feel good with R-I-C-E, it's fun to heal good with R-I-C-E. 
                 Eb 
If you've Medicare B , there'll be no fees you owe 
                   F7                 Eb    F
When you hang out at Physio.

Bb
Sometimes, there's a glitch in this scheme - 
          Gm
Early X-rays aren't as smart as they seem,
            Eb
Subtle fractures missed by linear beam,
           F7          Dm     F 
And a  scan is more revealing.

Bb
Symptoms, this might all help explain,
          Gm
After one week, why you're still wracked by pain,
                Eb
So some bone-meds you will likely be takin', 
                   F7      Eb     F   Eb Dm Cm F7
'long with RICE, then ambulation  (rest, raise, freeze, compress).

                                                  Bb                                                      Gm
You're gonna feel good with R-I-C-E, it's fun to heal good with R-I-C-E.
        Eb
It's First-Aid of choice, as approved by your grand-pa, 
            F7             Eb        F
And it still is the modern mantra.
Bb                                                       Gm
R-I-C-E, it's fun to heal good with R-I-C-E 
                 Eb                     
If you've Medicare B, there'll be no fees you owe 
                   F7                 Eb     F7
When you hang out at Physio.

Bb
Rarely, when you see Dr Dodd,
              Gm
(worth waiting, he's a sharp orthopod),
             Eb
He'll astound you, "it's unstable - good God!"
             F7          Dm              F 
Hip or  knee or shin needs fixing.

Bb
Post-op, Doc's rewired your limb, 
               Gm
Turn up volume, and just listen to him. 
             Eb

Pain is screaming, don't sign out on a whim, 

                     F7  Eb F        Eb   Dm  Cm     F7 
You've just got to know this one thing (rest, raise, freeze, compress). 

                                                  Bb                                                      Gm   
You're gonna feel good with R-I-C-E, it's fun to heal good with R-I-C-E.
                  Eb
You could  threaten to sue, dream of injury claims, 
                     F7                     Eb        F7  
Short-term treatment will be the same.
Bb                                                        Gm
R-I-C-E, it's fun to heal good with R-I-C-E 
Eb
 Old man, old man on the floor of the gym, 
F7
Old man, old man with the red swollen limb 

Fade:
Bb                                                              Gm
R-I-C-E, you're gonna feel good with R-I-C-E,
Eb
Old man, old man with sprained neck, twisted knee...

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