Thursday, 1 December 2016

Singable Limericks #11: The Great Outdoors

POST #140

 Singable Limericks 
ORIGINAL SONG: These verses can be sung to  "The Limerick Song", as per YouTube here.
LIMERICK VERSE:  Original verses composed by Giorgio Coniglio, November 2016.


(To the tune of "The Limerick Song") 


Is it plausible aliens brung us
That weird life-form called stinkhorn fungus?
I just wish we could ban it,
Send it back to its planet,
But alas it has settled among us.

Nature's nerf-ball, it's named for its stench —
Your eyes water and teeth want to clench.
It's designed, no surprise,
To attract swarms of flies,
To its home near your new garden bench.

(Which could put off a swain or a wench).

Clathrus ruber is a startlingly shaped fungal species which resembles, when fully grown, a child's toy ball made of orangy-red plastic. It is a saprophyte, feeding on wood chips or other decaying plant material, and is related to many other saprophytic fungi, e.g. white basket fungi, which are now common in North America, having been introduced from Europe or Asia. Its interior surfaces are coated with a foul-smelling slime that attracts flies, who then disperse the fungal spores.The characteristic fetid odor of red basket fungus is described as similar to that of rotting meat.


For most 'bee stings' the bees take the fall,
Though it isn't the bees' fault at all;
Vespine pests, yellow jackets
Undertake an attack; it's
A typical day's ER call.

A million Emergency Room visits per year in the United States are caused by concern over stings from insects of the order Hymenoptera; stings can result in significant local reactions and even anaphylaxis. Many people attribute these incidents, without differentiation, to 'bees'. In fact, the common honeybees and bumblebees are considerably less aggressive than yellow jackets, such as Vespula maculifrons; these latter pesty wasps make us miserable in the summer and early fall, particularly at fairs and other outdoor events by their relentless search for sugar-containing foods. Vespine is the adjective relating to wasps.


Earl the eaglet ate right in his aerie —

DDT-laden fish made him wary.
The scenario jumps
To our day and our dumps.
Now our Earl is a carnivore scary.
Earl's an emblem resurgent, so regal,
But you'll find you've not much recourse legal,
When, for tastier diet,
He dives in the quiet
And seizes your poodle or beagle.

Eagle populations declined severely during the previous century due to hunting, loss of habitat, confined farm-animal production, and pesticides, particularly DDT, which accumulated to dangerous levels in fish. Improvement in some factors has resulted in a recent resurgence in populations of these scavenging predators, who have enjoyed protected status. They are now prominent denizens of some urban landfills, with attendant problems in adjacent built-up areas.


From his beach house on Sullivan's isle,
He walked seaward at least half a mile,
Where he stated with flourishment,
"Our beach needs no nourishment;
Nearby islands will envy our style."
Beach nourishment or replenishment, a process first used in 1922, is a shore protection measure, replacing sand lost from erosion using sources outside the depleting beach. Sullivan's Island SC, in contrast to its neighbours, has enjoyed progressive beach accretion in recent years.


So, Algonquin has rock-rimmed blue lakes,
Worth the effort that getting there takes.
Leave the grimy hot city —
Woods and wetlands so pretty,
For our otter-loon-perch summer breaks.
Even in Canada, cities seem hot, dirty and undesirable in mid-summer. Prominent among retreats north of Toronto is Algonquin Provincial Park, a large area in the Canadian Shield where natural beauty is preserved. Travel within the park proceeds primarily by canoe, and lodging is at campsites.


You would fret about where canines pee
And go poop if, like me, you're a tree.
Our curbside green zone,
Pesty pets, leave alone!
"Owners, help keep our walks urine-free!"


An old Yellowstone Park tour-adviser
Could predict like a geezer much wiser:
"Pressure rises in chasms,
Vapour gushes in spasms —
It's magma's heat driving that geyser."
The geyser (GAHY-zer or GEE-ser) is an unusual hydrogeologic phenomenon which occurs in volcanic zones where magma (molten lava) is close to the surface, and there is fissuring of rocks due to earthquake faults. Minerals dissolved from adjacent rocks precipitate out, forming a lining for a type of 'plumbing system' in which steam builds up, resulting in regular eruptions of boiling water. Changes in the colour of the swirling hot water in the pool help predict the arrival of the next photogenic discharge. The name derives from the Icelandic word for 'gushes'.


With the Lowcountry right in its path, you
Feared flooding and raging wind's wrath. You
Escaped, it would seem,
Deadly damage extreme —
As when Haiti met hurricane Matthew.
In the aftermath of major hurricanes, poor Caribbean nations with limited resources suffer terribly. Hurricane Matthew left hundreds of thousands homeless in Haiti in October 2016. More resistant infrastructure and organized emergency measures in southeastern American coastal states, including the vulnerable Carolina "Lowcountry", mitigated storm damage there.

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