Thursday, 1 December 2016

Singable Limerick-Medley #10: THE GREAT OUTDOORS

POST #140
 Singable Limericks 
ORIGINAL SONG: These verses can be sung to  "The Limerick Song", as per YouTube here.
LIMERICK VERSE:  Original lyrics composed and set to music by Giorgio Coniglio, November 2016.
EXPLANATORY NOTES: Many of these verses have also been published at the online humor dictionary OEDILF , as noted. In some cases, the title of the verse shown below has been altered from the "defined word" listed at
1. Stinkhorn Fungus (Red Basket Fungus)
2. Bee Stings
3. Caterpillars
4. Geysers
5. Muskoka (Summer Breaks)
6. Urban Green Spaces


(To the tune of "The Limerick Song". Display of the lyrics has been condensed to 4 lines for each verse, with internal rhyming in line 3, rather than the more customary 5-line limerick format.)

1. Is it plausible aliens brung us
That bizarre life-form, red basket fungus?
How I wish we could ban it, send it back to its planet, 
But alas, it has settled among us.
    Nature’s nerf-ball, it’s named for its stench --
Your eyes water and teeth want to clench. 
It's designed, no surprise, to attract swarms of flies 
To its home near your new garden bench.
… which could put off a swain or a wench.

2. For most 'bee stings' the bees take the fall,
Though it isn't the bees' fault at all;
Vespine pests, yellow jackets undertake an attack; it's
A typical day's ER call.

3. We'd converse there on any old matter-fillers.
"Aren't you glad they don't have they don't have rowdy caterpillars.
Chew the fat, shady yard, though of hearing we're hard,
Unperturbed by loud vermiform patter-killers."

4. An old Yellowstone Park tour-adviser
Could predict like a geezer much wiser:
"Pressure rises in chasms; vapour gushes in spasms —
It's magma's heat driving that geyser."

5. So, Muskoka has rock-rimmed blue lakes,
Worth the effort that getting there takes.
Leave the grimy hot city — Woods and wetlands so pretty,
For our otter-loon-perch summer breaks.

6. You would fret about where canines pee
And go poop if, like me, you're a tree.
Our curbside green zone, pesty pets, leave alone! 
"Owners, help keep our walks urine- free!"

(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)

The geyser (GAHY-zer or GEE-ser) is an unusual hydrogeologic phenomenon which occurs in volcanic zones where magma (molten lava) is close to the surface, and there is fissuring of rocks due to earthquake faults. Minerals dissolved from adjacent rocks precipitate out, forming a lining for a type of 'plumbing system' in which steam builds up, resulting in regular eruptions of boiling water. Changes in the colour of the swirling hot water in the pool help predict the arrival of the next photogenic discharge. The name derives from the Icelandic word for 'gushes'.

In the aftermath of major hurricanes, poor Caribbean nations with limited resources suffer terribly. Hurricane Matthew left hundreds of thousands homeless in Haiti in October 2016. More resistant infrastructure and organized emergency measures in southeastern American coastal states, including the vulnerable Carolina "Lowcountry", mitigated storm damage there.

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