Wednesday, 14 January 2015

A Delayed Seasonal Treat: Turkey Leftovers

POST #64
PARODY-LYRICS subbed into 2 original songs, a pairody

ORIGINAL SONG#1: "The Christmas Song" written by Wells and Torme 1944, recorded by the Nat King Cole Trio 1946.
ORIGINAL SONG#2: "Good King Wenceslas", John Mason Neale 1853, but often now mistakenly referred to as 'traditional'. Neale's piece, (based on accounts of the Bohemian Wenceslas legend, and a 13th century spring- carol tune) was highly criticized in the 1920s as "ponderous moral doggerel"; see the interesting description in the Wiki essay.
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, January, 2015.

KEYWORDS: classicsong, traditional, seasonal, pa(i)rody


(to the tune of The Christmas Song - "Chestnuts Roasting")

Essay featured in Economist,
Etymology disclosed -
Centerpiece of each year's Yuletide feast,
Subspecies bred in Mexico.

Dolts like me believed that gobblers and that Mid-East land -
Names were mere coincidence.
Ottomans, trading ships, caravans -
I understand, it now makes sense.

Each year I prove that I'm a goof,
I try create too late a spiffy Christmas spoof,
But with a month's delay I'll get it right
Helped by this article that' s called, "Turkey's Flight".

And so I'm proffering this paraphrase
Of what the author claimed was true,
French - d'inde, and the Turks call them 'hindi' - what jerks!
While in India, name in Hindi,
And in Portugal's 'peru'.

To the tune of "Good King Wenceslas")

Montezuma once cooked fowl tastier than pheasant 
Shipped the Spanish queen a thou - funky kind of present.
Isabella loathed the birds, trimmings too displeased her;
Had no use for leftovers, didn't have a free-eezer.

'Turkeys', Moors, then Jews were banned from the royal kitchens;
Rumors say that's how began Spanish Inquisition - 
Cortes later sacked the lands of the Aztec ruler.
Phil or Izz-and-Ferdinand ? Can't say which was cru-ueller.

Avian émigrés toured through, crowns of Europe hosting,
Though few of their lackeys knew oven-time for roasting.
Hot or cold and steep or flat, exiled birds were living,
Prospered in those countries that didn't have Thanksgi-iving.

Thus this misnamed flock did cope through the 16th century,
'ventually hens copped some hope with the English gentry.
For some time they settled down,  breeding they found boring,
Westward they shipped out again, restlessly explo-oring.

Turkeys in America, native home  recovered,
Quirky and hysterical history discovered -
Essay we would clearly rank best of the Econ'mist,
Author we should dearly thank-(s)he remains anon-ymous.


For chords for "The Christmas Song" in the key of A, see my earlier posting "The Cynic's Song". here.

[F] Montezuma [Dm] once cooked [F] fowl [Bb] tastier than [F] pheasant 
Shipped the Spanish [Dm] queen a [F] thou - [Bb] funky kind of [F] present.
Isabella [Dm] loathed the birds, [Bb] trimmings too dis[F]pleased her;
Had no use for [Dm] lefto[C7]vers; [F] didn't have a [Dm] free-[Bb]ee[F]zer.


"Turkey Leftovers" was posted on, a parody web-site. Comments received by other participants were mixed. The following was then submitted as a song to AmIRight under the rubric,


(to the tune of THE CHRISTMAS SONG -final verse)

I hope, though framed by words cantankerous,
What Agrimorfee said was true.
And so I declare to my e-colleagues there
Have a merry January,
All you AIR-headed crew.

(To the tune of "Good King Wenceslas" )

'Critic' has right of free speech, called work "stale and odious"
I checked song - its theme unique, pacing was melodious,
Thought my take helped clarify hist'ry queer and murky.
Probability seems high - 'Critic' is a tu-urkey.

Spoofs should end when words run out - that is my contention,
Though AIR friends when piqued will spout Chuck's 10-line convention.
This bon mot might justify present scaled-down parody.
New rubric you might not know- let's call them ParedDown-ody.

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