Thursday 27 November 2014

Lament for the Undefended Border: AN ALIEN HEADING SOUTH

POST #57
PARODY-LYRICS, subbed into 2 songs.
ORIGINAL SONG#1:  "Mr. Spaceman" , The Byrds, 
1966 -  verses 1,2, and 10.
ORIGINAL SONG #2. " Englishman in New York", Sting, 1987 - all other parody verses.
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, November, 2014.

KEYWORDS: pair-ody, Canadian, goldenoldy, modernsong 

Lexicon:
Pair-ody = satirical lyrics substituted into a mix of 2 original songs
DHS = Department of Homeland Security
CRA = Canada Revenue Agency
BNL = Barenaked Ladies, a well-known Canadian band




ALIEN HEADING SOUTH

(to the tune of "Mr Spaceman")

 Woke up this morning, an odd taste in my mouth, and 
Then I realized we were due to head south,
 Warm U.S. cottage, with dual-cit. spouse - 
hope they won’t keep me out.

Hey, DHS-man, I really hate to ask -  I'd 
like to stay the max.
Hey, DHS-man, won’t you please let me in for 6 months.

(to the tune of "Alien in New York")

Hey, Mister Inquisitor, I’m just a snowbird-visitor,
I'm sure that I am not the only one;
I’ve sent “Closer Connection”-form, in IRS’s direction, for
I plan to live and die a native son. 

You’ll find no trace of felony, of villainy or zealotry
I’m not the sort who plans to overstay.
ISIS I repudiate, I file my taxes never late,
In fact I’m on good terms with CRA. 

I don't drink Starbuck's, just Tim Horton's, Sir,
Always a donut on the side,
I take my hockey gear everywhere I walk,
I’m myself, a trailer-park Canuck.    Whoa-.

 –oh, Not some alien: visiting Canadian
A Canadian with his puck. Whoa
–oh, Not some alien: ally, friend, and then some
A Canadian with his puck.  

If music makes the man, and threats you rate,
Then I'm the zero of the day,
I play my Lightfoot, Twain, Dion and Stompin' Tom
BNL, Avril, Biebs or Buble.
  
I'll trade my "loonies" at your banks to shop,
I won’t take anybody’s job, 
I’ll hide my views on climate-change and gun-control,
And no one should take me for a snob.  Whoa


 –oh, Not some alien: passported Canadian
 A Canadian with his puck. Say 
–eh, Not some alien: ally, friend, and then some
 A Canadian with his puck.  



(to the tune of "Mr Spaceman")
Hey, DHS-man, I know the rules can change; I
won’t do anything strange.
Hey, DHS-man, won’t you please let me in for a while.


(to the tune of "Alien in New York")
Say, "eh", Not some alien: visiting Canadian
A Canadian with his puck. Say 
–eh, Not some alien: ally, friend, and then some
A Canadian with his puck.  

















HOTLINKS TO CANADIAN-THEMED SONG-POSTINGS
An Alien Heading South (see below)
..AND A FEW LIMERICK-BASED SONGS
Canada Day 2015 (singable limericks)


UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT
(Click on any chord-chart slide to move to 'song-presentation mode'; then navigate through thumbnails at bottom of page.)
































Friday 21 November 2014

The Climate-Cynic's Song: PLANET'S ROASTING CAN BE SET ASIDE

POST #56
This blogpost is dedicated to M.H., with best holiday wishes, December 2017.

PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL SONG: "The Christmas Song" written by Wells and Tormé1944; recorded by the Nat King Cole Trio in 1946.
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, November 2014.


THE CLIMATE-CYNIC'S SONG
(Planet's Roasting Can Be Set Aside)

(to the tune of "The Christmas Song")  
 




Al Gore
former U.S. Vice-President









Planet’s roasting can be set aside.
Al Gore’s nightmare can’t unfold -
Records tumbling, roads closed, bursting pipes
And six-foot drifts in Buffalo ...  

   ...Armchair  experts doubt, outliers like some melting floes
Help predict our global fate.
Tiny dots graphing century lows-
 Warm some years, but it’s not too late.


We know that Sa-anta’s on his way;    
If he brings shorter winters here - more time to play!
I’ll ditch my snowboots, yet retire in my town,
‘Cause rising seas may make South Florida drown.

And so I send November sympathies,
Where Christmas came too soon this year -
Although it’s been said many times many ways,
Glad it didn’t,  glad it didn’t,
Glad it didn’t hap - pen here.


















UKULELE-FRIENDLY FORMAT 

A few less common chords here, but they sound beautiful.

Bm7 = 2222;  C#m7 = 4444;  E7 = 1202;  Em7 = 1010;  C#7+5 =2112; F#m = 2120;  Dm6 = 2212;  D#m7 = 3324;  C#M7 = 1113;  CM7 = 0002;
A9= 0102;  DM7 = 2224;  D6 = 2222;  Dm7 = 2213;  CM7 = 0002;  C6 = 0000;  Fdim7 = 1212; G#7 = 1323;  Cdim7 = 2323;  AM7 = 1100;  F#7sus = 6677















 ORIGINAL SONG-LYRICS





















Saturday 8 November 2014

Gord Lightfoot's Re-Write of the Hamlet Soliloquy



POST #55
PASTICHE with PARODY-LYRICS
ORIGINAL POEM:  Hamlet's Soliloquy, Act iii, Shakespeare's "Hamlet, Prince of Denmark", 1600.
ORIGINAL SONG: "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald", 1976 by Gordon Lightfoot, used primarily for music and meter.
PARODY COMPOSED: Giorgio Coniglio, 2014.

KEYWORDS: classics, poetry, pastiche, goldenoldy

See an earlier collaboration of G. Lightfoot and W. Shakespeare in a post of Nov 22 on this blog. 

Now suppose Lightfoot sang Hamlet's most famous soliloquy........... 

Ken Branagh as Hamlet ponders man's fate

RE-WRITE OF THE HAMLET SOLILOQUY

(to the tune of "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald")

The question is …… Whether ‘tis nobler to suffer,
 Fate’s arrows and stings so outrageous
 Or to be, and take arms against troubling seas,
 And oppose them with action courageous?


To die, not to be; it's just sleep, possibly
- An escape from heart-aches flesh is heir to -
All quiet past that portal, where no longer mortal
- consummation we offer a prayer to.


To die, to sleep, perchance to dream; there’s the rub;
For death’s dreams may provoke dissolution;
And the puzzling dread of that something when you’re dead
Discolours our strong resolution.  


With dagger that’s naked we’d easily make it
To that land whence no traveller’s recovered.
But that puzzles our wills, rather bear our known ills
Than fly off to others undiscovered. 


Explaining persistence of troubled existence,
For Time’s whips and scorns, who would bear’em? 
The haughty, oppressors, and rejecting lovers -
The wrongs and the spurns they don’t spare’em.

And who would bear "fardels" - whatever those are -  
With a life grimy, sweaty and weary, 
Hauling tons of iron ore to the desolate shore
Of that low-lying lake some deem eerie? 

Yet there’s puzzling dread of that thing when you’re dead 
And the pale cast of thought which can sicken,
Enterprise of great moment and pith turns awry          
And thus conscience makes all of us chicken. 

The question lives on …… When the chips are all down,
To bear outrageous fate so much drearier?
Or to be, and take arms against troubling seas,
|And oppose them with action superior?|X2



The Fitzgerald in Nov '75, just prior to the shipwreck

Performing Notes: 

The chord pattern is the same for all verses.
Gsus2=0230;  Asus(4)=2200

INTRO: |Gsus2/D/ Asus| x2

The [Asus]question is …… [Em]Whether ‘tis nobler to suffer,
Fate’s [G]arrows and [D]stings so out[A]rageous
Or to [A]be, and take arms against [Em]troubling seas,
And op[G]pose them with [D]action cou[A]rageous?
    
To [Asus]die, not to be; it's just [Em]sleep, possibly
An es[G]cape from heart-[D]-aches flesh is [A] heir to -
All [A]quiet past that portal, where [Em] no longer mortal
- consum[G]mation we [D]offer a [A]prayer to.

et cetera..


Compare with Lightfoot's original.......

The [Asus] legend lives on from the [Em] Chippewa on down
Of the [G] big lake they [D] call Gitche [A] Gumee [Asus]
The [A] lake, it is said, never [Em] gives up her dead
When the [G] skies of No[D]vember turn [A] gloomy. [Asus]